Bobby revised his rough draft on the theme of divided loyalties in friendship as illustrated in the short story,"After Twenty Years". We worked extensively on word choice to transform informal language into formal English. Where Bobby encountered difficulty ,I reformulated the sentences with blank spaces on our shared screen and had Bobby complete the sentence by inserting active verbs or more precise diction. This exercise greatly assisted Bobby in completing his essay. Last, we addressed grammar issues such as missing commas. Bobby did very well with inserting proper punctuation .At the conclusion of the session, I had Bobby read the revised essay aloud so that he could hear the impact of improved diction and syntax.