As the rough draft comparing two of the major characters in the novel",Crash," is complete , we focused on rewriting and revising the essay. A major area of focus concerned the need to break down long rambling sentences into shorter clearer sentences. I directed Yanuell's attention to sentences that required revision, and we discussed methods of shortening and clarifying them. Yanuell worked on this exercise and then on adding connecting words to the revised material. He further impressively substituted some general phrases with some very sophisticated verbs such as "retaliate" and provoke". By the end of the class, we had finished the revisions and by improving the initial draft had produced a good essay.