I distributed my comments to Aiden's essay on conflicts in the Raisin in the Sun .We first worked on eliminating the "is when " construction, followed by an examination of how to combine sentences to avoid wordiness and duplication. After Aiden edited these items, we worked on how to develop and write a topic sentence. We discussed the absence of a topic sentence in one of his critical paragraphs and examined options for content and placement of a topic sentence. We further looked at spelling and subject-verb agreement issues.