Sophia's essay-writing skills definitely need work. Her attention to historical details, that are interesting but minor, overtakes the more necessary task of staying on focus and making a convincing argument. The following are the main things I notice:
1. Difficulty narrowing a topic. A 1-page assignment has proven more difficult than a 4-pager.
2. Selection of a thesis. For the essay on Indians, she chose the answer where they were designated land and how they reacted. Yet, no where in the introductory paragraph were these two items mentioned.
3. Run-ons: Many of her sentences contained upwards of four clauses, making them difficult to follow.

I do realize this is a History and not an English class, but writing does lie at the heart of what historians do. We are making clear progress, learning important strategies for what to include and not include in a paper.