Ramesses sent me Draft 2 of his essay. He applied much of what we discussed yesterday and it was a huge improvement. I went through it and made more suggestions to work on more wordiness and adding some more characterization. Then we conferenced and went through it together. Today, I had Ramesses use my computer and we made revisions in real time. Ramesses is very bright and we are on the same page. He applied everything we discussed and I believe he learned some valuable writing tips that he can apply to his writing in life. We cut his essay down from 800 (and something) words to 647 words. His essay is sounding amazing! Good session!
Ramesses sent me his college essay Draft 1 and I read, analyzed and made notes and suggestions on it. We sat and reviewed it together and walked through tips for Draft 2. We are going to work on (1) wordiness and repetition of words, phrases and ideas and (2) Ramesses is going to add more specific details, show don't tell, and characterization of him. I threw much information at him, but I believe he feels confident for his next draft. We will meet tomorrow at 2:30
